


i just keep on making the same mistakes

by takesmeunder



Series: Thinking Out Loud [4]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-14 07:22:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2182956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takesmeunder/pseuds/takesmeunder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry discovers that Niall's been offered an internship in New York. The thing is, Niall never even told Harry he'd applied.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i just keep on making the same mistakes

Harry's not snooping when he sees it.

Niall's already left for his morning class, leaving Harry in the dorm by himself. It's well past noon when he finally opens his eyes, stretching out sideways in Niall's massive king size bed. His arm knocks against the side table and makes a few papers fall to the floor.

Harry groans and flips over onto his stomach to reach where they've fallen. As he's pulling them up, a letter with New York postage catches his eye.

It's addressed to Niall with his full name in pretty cursive writing. The right thing to do here would be to put it back on the table, and go have a shower. Naturally, Harry flips over the envelope and pulls out the letter inside.

" _Dear Mr. Horan,_

_It is with great pleasure that Terminus Recording Studios located in New York City, extends to you an Internship offer beginning September 2013.."_

Harry stops reading, the letter falling from his hand back to the floor. His heart feels like it's dropped into his stomach, bile coating the back of his throat as he fights the urge to vomit. Niall never said anything about an internship in New York. He didn't say that he was even thinking about going anywhere, especially out of the country. Harry had been under the impression that they'd be finishing their final year together, and now apparently that's not the case at all.

The front door bangs open then, and Harry stuffs the letter back into the envelope. He shuffles it in with the rest of the papers before replacing them onto the side table.

“Honey, I’m home!” Niall calls as he pushes the bedroom door open.

Harry forces a smile, reaches out with his arms so Niall collapses onto the bed beside him. “How was class?”

Niall groans and nuzzles his face into Harry’s neck. “Useless, as usual. You been sleeping this whole time?”

Harry wants to tell him that he found the letter. He wants to ask Niall why he hasn’t told him. He wants to know if it means Niall’s ending things at the end of term and leaving him to finish his last year of Uni by himself.

Instead, he grins and rolls so he’s straddling Niall’s waist. “Just saving up my energy for important things,” he says.

Niall’s eyes widen as his hands find Harry’s waist, thumbs pressing into the curve of his hip bones. “Ah, well. Just have to show me what’s so important then, yeah?”

* * *

 

Harry tries not to let on that he knows. But sometimes he slips, snaps at Niall for something like leaving his socks on the floor instead of putting them in the hamper. The day when Niall comes home after being out in the rain, and he throws his wet coat onto the couch, Harry can't stop himself.

“Do you not know where the coat rack is?” Harry demands, stomping over to the couch and lifting the wet jacket with one finger. “Are you trying to make your couch grow mold?”

Niall stops walking towards the bathroom, clearly about to get a towel to dry his hair. “Haz?”

“You’re a slob, Niall,” Harry says as he puts the coat on a hook.

“Harry, what’s wrong?” Niall asks, his feet sliding across the carpet. “Last time you got upset at me over something, it’s because we weren’t communicating right. Let’s not do it again, yeah? Just talk to me.”

Harry sucks in a shaky breath, knows he’s failing to keep the tears from his eyes. “I know about New York.”

“What?” Niall freezes, eyes wide.

“I saw the letter. For the internship in New York. I know you’re leaving,” Harry explains, and his heart is breaking all over again. “I know what you want to do for a living, Niall, and that’s perfectly okay. I just wish you’d told me so I could prepare to be alone. You’re leaving me.”

The ‘just like Zayn did’ goes unspoken, but echoes loudly between them. Niall’s still frozen, fingers clenching and unclenching as he’s rendered speechless.

Harry wipes at his eyes and takes a breath. “If all I get is these last few months with you, then I don’t want to spend them fighting,” he says, whisper soft. “I haven’t been able to breathe since I found the letter and I just need to know why you didn’t tell me.”

Niall finally moves, closing the distance between them and reaching for Harry’s hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” is what he says, pressing a kiss to Harry’s cheek. “I didn’t even think I stood a chance when I applied. Didn’t think it would matter.”

“The letter is dated for February. It’s April,” Harry breathes, trying so hard to hold on. “You’ve known for two months that you got it.”

“I don’t know if I’m going to take it,” answers Niall, and Harry’s about to call bullshit when he keeps speaking. “I was going to ask if you wanted to come with me.”

Harry laughs then, a bit watery because of the tears on his face. “Come with you? Niall, I have to finish my degree here. That’s impossible.”

“You know what they say, right? Dream big,” Niall says with a small smile. “I was too scared to ask, and that’s really my only excuse. I’ll just not take it, I guess.”

Something in Harry’s heart twists sharply. “No, Niall. Of course you have to take it. This could be the chance of a lifetime. You can’t not take it just because of me. You’d never forgive yourself. I couldn’t live with myself if you didn’t take it.”

“I don’t want to leave you,” Niall says, and he sounds so sincere that Harry’s heart breaks all over again. “I don’t want to be like him.”

There it is, the thing that’s been floating in the air that neither of them would explicitly say.

“You’re nothing like Zayn,” Harry says, intertwining his fingers with Niall’s. “Zayn told me the morning he was leaving. He never had any intention of being anything more for me. He served his purpose.”

“I love you,” Niall leans forward on his toes to press a kiss to Harry’s lips. “I wish there was a way you could come with me.”

Harry taps Niall’s nose. “Don’t reckon there is. But we don’t have to break up, yeah? We can just like, work on it. Not all long distance relationships are doomed to fail. We could make it work.”

“I’ll fly you out every weekend,” Niall shushes Harry when he tries to speak. “It’s not a hand out. It’s me wanting to see my boyfriend. Maybe not every weekend, maybe just every other. It’s still five months away, we’ve got time.”

Harry’s heart swells and his eyes fill with tears again.

“S’wrong?” Niall asks, concerned, hand coming up to brush the tears off Harry’s cheek. “Hazza?”

“I just can’t believe you love me this much,” Harry says. “I never thought anyone would. Everyone always leaves.”

Niall’s arms drop so he can curl them around Harry’s body, fingers digging into his back. “I’ll never leave you,” he promises. “You know too much.”

Harry snorts, can’t help himself. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m ridiculous? You’re the one that just snorted, mate,” Niall says. “Was gonna ask if you wanted me to make bacon for lunch, but I reckon you might not want to eat your family.”

“Heeeey,” Harry says, offended. “That’s not nice.”

Niall rolls his eyes and pulls away. “Ya know I’m just teasing. I love your snort. I love everything about you.”

“Shove off,” Harry feels the blush on his cheeks and he ducks his head. “Cook me lunch.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” Niall says sarcastically. “Hey, Harry?”

Harry pauses from where he was about to go into the living room. “Yeah, Ni?”

“Can we agree that if there’s something we need to talk about, we’ll do it? Instead of letting it stew? I hate fighting with you, princess,’ Niall’s lips curl around the familiar nickname. “Much more fun when we’re getting on.”

“Course,” Harry agrees. “Sometimes I just don’t know what to say. I’m sorry, I’ll try to be better.”

Niall’s digging a pan out from the cupboard as he replies, “That’s all I ever ask.”

Harry settles into the couch, flicking on some random soap opera that he knows Niall will whine about once lunch is cooked. He knows it’s going to be hard, maintaining what they have across the ocean. But it’s Niall, and Harry will do whatever it takes to keep him.


End file.
